To nap or not to nap?

Yes, my 3 year old still takes a nap. Why? Because he needs it. Tate gets up between 5 and 6AM. I know not all kids his age take naps. It is very obvious when he doesn't get nap. The more days in a row he doesn't take a nap, the more disagreeable and grumpy he gets. Last weekend, he didn't nap Saturday or Sunday. I tried my best Saturday and despite the fact he was up before 5AM, he wouldn't take a nap.
This was the scene this morning:

 He didn't want me to take his picture while he was throwing a fit.

 Same here... "NO! Stop taking my picture!"

Most days, just he sleeps about an hour, which is fine. Yesterday, he napped for over 2 hours and would have slept longer, if my mom had let him. He was also asleep before 8PM. Monday nights are a little crazy because I teach a swimming lesson from 6-6:30. That means bedtime is a little later than usual, but we are still usually out of his room by 7:30.

Michael and I have differing opinions on the situation. He thinks bedtime would be easier if Tate didn't nap. While Tate generally falls asleep faster at night, when he's awake he tends to throw fits and acts out more. Even if he hasn't taken a nap, he usually has to take melatonin to help him go to sleep. Michael also hates the hassle of trying to get Tate settled down for a nap and that most of the afternoon is ruined. But I would much rather have the sweet, loving Tate around, so I choose to have him nap or at least give it my best shot to make it happen. Oh how I love age 3 (yes, Sheldon, this is sarcasm)!

Project 366: Day 30-34

 

 Day 30: Feeding Mayer

I have been letting Mayer practice feeding himself. Most of the time he doesn't eat anything, but he likes to practice scooping.

Day 31: Finally Sleeping

Last week Mayer went through a phase where he would go to sleep just fine at normal bedtime, but then wake up and want to be held. He would go back to sleep in my arms. When I would try to lay him back down, he would scream. I have no idea what was the cause, but I hope it doesn't continue this week!

 Day 32: Good Habits

Tate was doing a puzzle at the kitchen table and had put the box on the floor. Mayer came along, picked up the box and headed to the recycle with it. He had to walk right past the trash can to get to the recycle, so I would like to think he knows the difference! lol Tate pulled the box out of the recycle, but Mayer was pretty insistent- that was where it belonged.

Day 32 Bonus: It takes skills to do this to the while you are *trying* to sewing!

Day 33: Like Father, like sons

I had to take Mayer's picture because I knew I had a similar picture of Tate. Michael sleeps the same way too.

Tate (March, 2009)

 

 

 

Day 34: Fluffy Babies

I thought Tate looked so cute using his babies as pillows.

Sleep was apparently the theme of the last week. :o)

Sleep Eludes Us

For three years we have struggled with sleep issues. For three years I suspected Tate had sleep apnea. I witnessed him stop breathing in his sleep on several occasions. The first time he was a newborn laying on my chest. I shared my concerns multiple times with his doctor. He told me there wasn't anything they could do until he turned 3, so basically, I shouldn't worry about it. Easy for him to say. He wasn't getting up every night.
While it is true that they don't usually remove a child's tonsils before age 3, there are occasions that they will and sleep apnea is one of them. At Tate's three-year well child check-up, I told his new doctor about his sleep issues. There were nights that Tate would wake up more than Mayer! He immediately referred us to an ear, nose and throat specialist to check his tonsils and adenoids.

Tate and I saw the ENT for maybe 10 minutes. He asked me if Tate had a lot of trouble with tonsillitis or strep throat, which he hasn't. He asked me about snoring, which Tate did occasionally. Then he demonstrated the other breathing pattern that I wasn't able to explain. It was right on the money and just as I suspected, sleep apnea! He looked at Tate's tonsils and said they were enlarged. He gave me the option to do a tonsillectomy and an adenoidecomy immediately or put Tate through a sleep study. I scheduled the surgery for the following Monday.
During the pre-op questioning, they told Michael and me that Tate might not even need to take melatonin to help him go to sleep after the surgery. They were not only going to help Tate breathe better, but they were going to give me the gift of sleep too? AWESOME! I figured the hardest thing pre-op would be not letting him drink anything after midnight. I was wrong. The hardest thing was when they took my baby away from me and sent us back to the waiting room!

The waiting seemed to drag on for hours, but really it was between 30-45 minutes. He was crying when we got to the post-op room and continued to cry until we left the surgery center. He was highly agitated with the IV still in his hand, "take it off!" To get out of there, we had to get him to calm down, drink and take pain meds. I'll spare you details, but the drainage was horrible. His breath smelled awful too! We managed to get him to drink quite a bit, so they took the IV out. He threw up a few times, but it was all clear, which meant we didn't need to worry about it. The hardest part was getting him to take the liquid lortab. When the doctor discharged us, he said that both the tonsils and adenoids were larger than he suspected. They showed us the tonsils and asked if we wanted to keep them. Heck NO!!
He went to my parents' house because Michael and I both had to go to work. I called later in the morning to check on him and I could hear him snoring horribly. He was awake when I visited over my lunch hour and he even had an appetite. My mom called me later and asked if they had given him speed because he was bouncing off the walls! They had warned us that might happen.
There were several other things I had been told about tonsillectomies and adenoidectomies. Number one: stay on top of the pain meds. Give them every 4 hours like recommended. Number two: days 3 and 4 are usually the worst for they younger kids.
Number one was easier said than done! Tate is usually pretty good about taking medicine. Monday evening after surgery, we tried to wake him up several times to give him the lortab. His head just bobbed around and he was drooling like crazy. We paid the price at about midnight and every time we went longer than four hours between doses. It took both Michael and me to give it to him and then we had a hard time getting him to drink because it hurt. We were really struggling every time we had to give it to him. I begged the pharmacist to flavor the lortab with whatever he could to help. I even put a cry out for help on Facebook and got some tips: Jell-o shots, milkshakes, Hershey's strawberry or chocolate syrup and even Mary Poppins' advice, a spoonful of sugar. He wasn't too fond of Jell-o. We couldn't trick him with the milkshakes and he was on a restricted diet, no red or brown colored foods. I really could have used Mary Poppins! It would have been a lot better than holding him in our arms and forcing it in his mouth.
Number two was right on the money, except Tate had three pretty rough and painful days. Day two was pretty easy, aside from giving the pain medication. Michael left bright and early on the morning of day three for a ten-day elk hunt in New Mexico. By day four, I called the doctor's office back and asked if we could try tylenol. Unfortunately, the pain was too bad and the tylenol didn't even touch it.
The next few days are sort of a blur. At some point, the doctor prescribed steroids to help. I think that was after day 7 or 8 of very minimal sleep. Several times I wondered if we had done the right thing because the snoring was worse and I could hear him over the monitor gasping for breath. His pillow was drenched every time I went in there from so much drainage.

Photo by: Sarah May, Bella Vita Photography

I am happy to report that there is no more snoring (or drainage)! Another plus that came from the surgery is Tate's hearing has improved. He had his ears checked three weeks in a row, at preschool screening, his well child check-up and at school again, and all three times there was fluid in them. There wasn't ever an infection, just fluid. His voice sounds a little different. The only thing that hasn't really changed is that sleep they promised me! It isn't related to sleep apnea any more, so something else is going on. I'll let you know as soon as I get some sleep! :o)

Word(less) Wednesday: Tate's new friend

This is his new "old pal" Grover.

It is a smaller version of the Grover doll I had growing up. I will try to find a picture of it. We were shopping last weekend, when Tate picked up Elmo and Grover dolls and started kissing them. Then held them up for my mom and me to kiss. Santa was going to give both of them to him, but since he's been sick he got one early. Yes, sometimes Mommy's a sucker and yes, he is asleep in my bed...

The sleepy hypocrite

Before I had Tate, I swore up and down that I would never co-sleep. The kids would have their own bed, just as I had mine. When my sister had trouble "weaning" my nephew from co-sleeping, I was even more adamant that my children would not sleep with me on a regular basis. He only slept in our room for about 2 weeks after he was born and that was only because we didn't have a baby monitor that worked.
I stood my ground and Tate didn't sleep with us... for about 10 months. By the time he was that old, I was so tired from getting up several times a night, I just gave up. My initial plans were to let him go back to sleep and then carry him to his bed. Ha! I was so exhausted, I never woke back up. Now, almost 5 months later, the cycle continues and I feel like the biggest hypocrite ever. But he seems to sleep so much better in Mommy and Daddy's bed whether we are in it or not. Why is that?
The biggest problem is he doesn't know how to self-soothe very well. When he was an infant, Tate had acid reflux. If we did not hold him upright at least 30 minutes after he ate, as soon as we laid him down, everything would come back up. We tried shorter intervals with no luck. After he outgrew the reflux, we still rocked him to sleep. I know it's a mistake because at 15 months, we still have to rock him. It's a vicious cycle.
We have tried cry-it-out and it doesn't work. First of all, he is so stubborn he has cried and screamed for over 2 hours without giving up. Second, he gets so mad that he throws up. I have read multiple books on what to do, but still I don't have any real answers and nothing seems to work for us.
Lately, I have been really hesitant to go in his room if he starts fussing after he's been asleep. It seems to be working better to help him self-soothe. The other night, I was putting clothes away in his room after he went to sleep and something happened to make him lift his head. Fortunately, he was on his stomach facing away from me. I shut the bedroom door because the hall light was on, then waited and breathed in the dark while he fussed. I knew he wasn't all the way awake. He went back to sleep on his own and I was able to escape without detection. Now if we can just keep him asleep all night and figure out how to get him to go to sleep on his own at night and nap time we will be in business!
I suspect some sleep apnea because he does snore and will wake up with a start sometimes. When I go into his room, he grabs me around the neck like he is scared to death. His doctor says there isn't anything we can do about it until he is older. That's a little hard to believe and it's a pretty serious condition, if that's what it is. Michael heard that taking him to a chiropractor or kinesiologist can help with sleep disorders in kids. I had a friend who took her daughter for one to help with ear infections, something we have also struggled with, and her daughter never had another problem.
We visited the kinesiologist this morning and he tested Tate for some food allergies. Just when I thought he was doing better with milk, ta-da, milk showed as a weakness for his immune system. Soy also showed some trouble, but nothing compared to the dairy. So now we are going to eliminate ALL dairy from his diet. That means nothing with milk in it. The next few weeks are going to be tough because Tate loves cheese. We are going to try rice milk again and make a trip to the health food stores in Wichita and/ or Newton to find a cheese alternative. None of our grocery stores, including our local health food store, carry any substitutes.
I worked at a health food store in college and was always thankful I didn't have food allergies. There was a lot of time spent reading labels and researching products. Now, I am thankful that it is only a dairy allergy with minimal soy and not a gluten, corn or wheat allergy! I am hopeful that if we can get the ear issues and the allergies under control, sleep for the Johnson/ Collins household will happen on a more frequent and regular basis... in our respective beds too!

Fab Fluff Friday

The sleep issues continued at the Collins' house early this morning. Tate has taken to getting up for over an hour in the middle of the night/ really bright and early in the morning. Nothing unusual in the waking up, but the staying up is something I thought we were over! I should not count on anything unless it is the unpredictable. I decided just to humor the sleep book authors that push a sleep chart and started keeping one for Tate. So far, it is just a random, albeit colorful, chart


Needless to say, I was a little unhappy about getting up this morning at 6:45. But, I had a pleasant surprise when I got to work this morning. I turned on the computer and logged on to Twitter. Usually, I check my email first, then log on to facebook and when I get around to it, I check my tweets. For whatever reason, I went backwards this morning. Well, I'm glad I did because it made my day! I saw a tweet that I had won a new cloth diaper... and not just any diaper, a bumGenius one size organic all-in-one! Thank you to "The Cloth Diaper Whisperer" http://www.theclothdiaperwhisperer.com/ and http://www.kellyscloset.com/. I am super excited to try it out!

All I had to do to be the Fluff Friday Twitter winner was tweet @diapershops and tell her what my fave diaper was, plus how many we have. My answer was easily the bumGenius 3.0 in fleece! They seem to be just slightly bigger than the regular BG and much more absorbent. We had Ferguson Fotography take pictures in a BG, but this is by far my favorite little bum shot.

Yes, he still wears his t-shirt diapers most of the time. Sometimes it is just more convenient to slap one of these on and let him go again. My busy little man doesn't have time to stop for a diaper change. So I guess then why would I expect him to slow down any for sleep? Maybe because Mama needs it!

The sleep struggle

The good news- Tate slept through the night! The bad news- it was in my bed, so I didn't sleep through the night! In an attempt to get some rest for both of us, the original plan was that he move to his bed once he had calmed back down and was asleep. Only every time I tried to move him to his bed he screamed.

We have some sleep issues at our house! At 9 1/2 months, he has maybe slept through the night 5 times. His doctor says not to worry about it, but that's easy for him to say! So my reading has consisted of sleep books. Not the most interesting, especially when you are exhausted, but I signed up for the adult summer reading program at the Hutchinson Public Library. As if sleeping through the night wasn't incentive enough, they give away weekly prizes!

I am not a huge fan of the cry-it-out method or CIO as it is often referred. For one, the madder Tate gets and the harder he cries, the quicker he is to throw up. Among other reasons, no one likes to hear there child screaming. The books I have been reading explore other alternatives to CIO.

The first book I read was Nighttime Parenting by William Sears. I was really discouraged by this book. He is a huge advocate for the La Lache League and co-sleeping. I totally support and agree with breastfeeding; however, he didn't offer any solutions for those of us that couldn't. I tried with little success. First, my milk never really came in like it should have. Thank you Hutchinson Hospital. Second, we struggled with latching. Tate often wouldn't recognize that my nipple was in his mouth. I tried to continue for a month and even had a home visit from the lactation specialist. But, my poor son was starving. It was so hard to figure out how much formula to supplement after we would spend nearly 2 hours trying to breastfeed. Pumping didn't offer much help either.

As for the co-sleeping, I like my space when I sleep. It is hard enough to sleep with one restless sleeper; with two, there is no sleeping for me. Once and a while I don't have a problem with it, but I'm not a big fan of every night. I think a child needs to learn to sleep on their own. I know this is hypocritical coming from the mama who still has to rock her 9 1/2 month old to sleep! For whatever reason Tate sleeps better in our bed whether we are in it or not. It is not a habit I would like to get in to even though they provide you with supposedly smooth transitioning tools.

The next book I read was also by the Sears family, The Baby Sleep Book. I was able to take more away from this book. They were still very much advocating breastfeeding and co-sleeping but they offered other solutions. One that I liked and seemed to work (for 2 nights anyway), was leaving a piece of you behind if you choose to have them sleep in another room. I covered Tate with the shirt I had worn that day and it seemed to work. On the third night, we encountered a problem. He spit up mixed vegetables on my light pink shirt. I needed to get it in the washer as soon as possible, so I substituted with my pillowcase. For whatever reason, it did not help that night.

I am currently reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It's endorsed by Cindy Crawford. I am still not sure how I feel about his methods. Most people think I am crazy for putting Tate to bed between 7-7:30. He would like me to put him to bed at 6:30 and claims he will sleep all night. I am really skeptical! I won't be able to try it for at least 2 weeks because swimming lessons start tonight at 6:30. Speaking of that, why are lessons for the youngest child offered the latest at the YMCA and from 6:30-8:15 through the Red Cross?!

One common theme is keeping a sleep log to establish sleeping habits. I can tell you right now that my son is random and there are no patterns! The longest and only pattern to date is his favorite song, Chicken Fried. Since he about 3 months, the Zac Brown Band has been able to calm him down. But as for sleep patterns, negative. One night he will wake up at 1 AM and it may or may not be close to the next night. But guaranteed it will not be longer than 2 nights in a row.

So for now, I will keep researching and the basic sleep plan will remain. To be continued...